Dear Annie: I am 74 years old and rent a room from a woman who has a 15 year old son. I pay $600 a month in rent. I pay her $350 in cash and spend the remaining $250 on her cleaning and cooking. I vacuum, make the bed, and clean the bathroom. I wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. I always wash the dishes and clean up after each meal. So when the food is ready, put it in the oven, clean the kitchen, and leave the floor mopped and swept.
Her 15-year-old son comes over, makes meals, leaves dishes and grease all over the floor, and expects me to wash the dishes, sweep the floor, and re-mop it. I don't feel the need to clean up after him after already cleaning the kitchen. He made a mess again this week and now the kitchen is messy. There are oil stains and dirt all over the floor. I haven't touched the kitchen all week to teach him a lesson because his mom told me she was going to make him clean up after himself. He isn't.
What do you and your readers think? Should I clean up after him after I clean up? Or, as his mother says, let him clean up. He feels he needs to learn a lesson. — teach a lesson
Please tell me the lesson: Your intuition is correct. It's a disgrace to the boy not to let him clean up after himself. In Arnold Schwarzenegger's newsletter, he answers your questions by highlighting 85 years of research on adult development called the Harvard-funded study. “Scientists studied 724 'high achievers' and discovered childhood characteristics that led to breakthrough career success. They found a strong connection between having more help around the house and developing a mindset of having to work and share responsibility for things in life. More importantly, people who did household chores as children are likely to be happier as adults. ”
The reason for this can be found on the website 'Raising Teenagers': https://www.raiseteenagers.com.au/chores-lead-to-success-but-no-they-wont-love-them/
“Chores lead to success in the following ways:
— Learn how to recognize the importance of contributing to your family.
— Ability to work well with others.
— Develop a “pitch-in” mindset.
— Build better relationships with friends and family (through the aforementioned collaborations).
— Empathy as an adult.
— Delayed gratification (putting something off until the work is done).
— (therefore) self-control.
— Resilience (as one aspect of resilience includes skill development).
— Greater career success. ”
If you show this column to your landlord, perhaps she will ask her son to start helping around the house.
Please send any questions about Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
