Early this morning, the 40-year-old man was making coffee when his 31-year-old wife told him she was upset that the kitchen was so cluttered.
He replied that it was no big deal and that he would definitely clean it since in a marriage he is usually the one who takes on this chore.
Typically, he cleans the kitchen in the morning while getting ready for the day, and again each night before going to bed.
“I don't think I got much cleaning done, just putting away the food the night before. But I had a long week at work and wanted to spend some time with her before she went on a business trip the next day.” ',' he explained.
“I like cleaning and I'm happy to do it. I want my wife to live in a comfortable and considerate home.”
“I wipe off the stove, put the pot that was there in the sink, and start washing. Suddenly, she starts venting all her frustrations. Don't wash the dishes. You haven't wiped all the surfaces. You're not listening.” All I do is clean, but you never clean/clean enough. Even though you're a child, you treat me like a mother.”
He did his best to remain calm and not read too much into the insults. He asked his wife to clarify what she meant and whether she was serious about never cleaning the kitchen to her own standards in the past. I asked for it.
He then tried to be empathetic, saying he knew she was frustrated and that it was a big deal. But instead of trying to defuse her situation, his wife takes her situation up a notch and he tries to invalidate her feelings, and he's not listening to her at all. I argued that there was no.
This bothered him so much that he asked his wife to leave the kitchen so he could go back to cleaning.
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